Now I understand what it means when some one leaves you forever. It is easy to console than face it in life. I lost my best friend, star of my life forever on 2nd Jan this year. When I look back ...I find him every where .......He was always there for us with his typical worry-less smile.......whether it is moment of happiness, or moment of sorrow or its my failure or its my success.....OR when his mortal body was lying in front of us...his face had same smile.....for which he has known for years in family and friends....
Me, 5 year old ..waiting for him at the doorstep of our quarter @ prospecting, kiriburu....He come with his trademark speedy walk and he smiled at us ( me and mine younger sis who is just 3 year old) ...my 3 yrs old sis said .,..."daddy ..ekkul se aagaye" ....and by listening this he hugged both of us!!! spent evening with us......
The scenes are coming frame by frame in front of my eyes ..it is hard to believe he is no more...He gone very far .....he is not going to return!!!
Whether it was our study...or drama or debate competition or 15th august / 26th Jan or Sarswati pooja or annual sports at school ...or picnic with friends or family .....once should see his energy level ...highly electrified person ...who believed only in Present..never had worry about future....A pilllar of strength for all of us ....whenever we felt frustrated ...He was the first person to cheer us up ...whether it is struggle in our career / life or crisis in family ...he was always smiling....
When we were going through toughest phase of financial crisis....he sent us outside to study in the best colleges .....he used to say always ..why we should worry ..God is there to help us...he would send his help someway ....and yeah throughout in our college days..he never allowed us to think that we were going through tough times.....
When he diagnosed with kidney failure...he was still laughing ....writing poems in the O2 ward of CMC vellore .......he became very popular among doctors and medical staff due to his jovial nature.....he survived 11 life threatening infections ...still he was tension free.....He wanted to live happy life even then .....and he did all what is required to lead a good life even in that condition ......ofcourse ....my mother supported him 24X7 for last 8 and half years.......my mother's sacrifice is supreme sacrifice..she donated one kidney to him ...unfortunately that transplant was not successful..after that he was on peritoneal dialysis for almost 7+ years....
I still remember ,,....My mother is reading news paper for him,....and his dialysis is going on ....and they are deeply involved in discussion ...national / international matter every morning....
I still remember..every evening when I used to come from the office ...he used to come and sit with me...and used to ask ..how am I ...am I tired....was everything ok in the office .....he wanted to talk a lot with me..perhaps I didn't have time......
I still remember ....early in the morning he used to sit in front of window ..silently watching the nature.....as though he was meditating.......
His love with his things ...A transistor ..which he used to hear news and songs every morning ....Nokia mobile ....which he used take care like his own child....his Files..his diaries ... .....all the letters and important items are still kept properly ...his poems ....his albums ...cassettes ....we can feel him in everything ..but he is not around...
I want to hear ..Gunjan!!!! ( he used to call me with this name...) .....But I know it would never happen .......
Dear Daddy .....You would always be there in my thoughts ....in our memories....I know your blessings and tons of love are always with us ....luv you Daddy ....very much!!!!! wanted to say this ,,but somehow not able to express this in front of you .......now I will not able to tell how much I luv you Dad!!!!
Your 4 year old grandson/daughter krsna & Aditi are asking lots of question to us, but we don't have answer... Shagun and sansu are quite .....perhaps ..they understood ...there is nothing to ask ........all of them are saying ....you become a Star in the sky Dad ....is this true Dad !!!! pls reply !!!!!
