Thursday, January 19, 2012

I Lost my Star, my Best Friend, My Dad...... forever


Now I understand what it means when some one leaves you forever. It is easy to console than face it in life. I lost my best friend, star of my life forever on 2nd Jan this year. When I look back ...I find him every where .......He was always there for us with his typical worry-less smile.......whether it is moment of happiness, or moment of sorrow or its my failure or its my success.....OR when his mortal body was lying in front of us...his face had same smile.....for which he has known for years in family and friends....

Me, 5 year old ..waiting for him at the doorstep of our quarter @ prospecting, kiriburu....He come with his trademark speedy walk and he smiled at us ( me and mine younger sis who is just 3 year old) ...my 3 yrs old sis said .,..."daddy ..ekkul se aagaye" ....and by listening this he hugged both of us!!! spent evening with us......

The scenes are coming frame by frame in front of my eyes ..it is hard to believe he is no more...He gone very far .....he is not going to return!!!

Whether it was our study...or drama or debate competition or 15th august / 26th Jan or Sarswati pooja or annual sports at school ...or picnic with friends or family .....once should see his energy level ...highly electrified person ...who believed only in Present..never had worry about future....A pilllar of strength for all of us ....whenever we felt frustrated ...He was the first person to cheer us up ...whether it is struggle in our career / life or crisis in family ...he was always smiling....

When we were going through toughest phase of financial crisis....he sent us outside to study in the best colleges .....he used to say always ..why we should worry ..God is there to help us...he would send his help someway ....and yeah throughout in our college days..he never allowed us to think that we were going through tough times.....

When he diagnosed with kidney failure...he was still laughing ....writing poems in the O2 ward of CMC vellore .......he became very popular among doctors and medical staff due to his jovial nature.....he survived 11 life threatening infections ...still he was tension free.....He wanted to live happy life even then .....and he did all what is required to lead a good life even in that condition ......ofcourse ....my mother supported him 24X7 for last 8 and half years.......my mother's sacrifice is supreme sacrifice..she donated one kidney to him ...unfortunately that transplant was not successful..after that he was on peritoneal dialysis for almost 7+ years....

I still remember ,,....My mother is reading news paper for him,....and his dialysis is going on ....and they are deeply involved in discussion ...national / international matter every morning....

I still remember..every evening when I used to come from the office ...he used to come and sit with me...and used to ask ..how am I ...am I tired....was everything ok in the office .....he wanted to talk a lot with me..perhaps I didn't have time......

I still remember ....early in the morning he used to sit in front of window ..silently watching the nature.....as though he was meditating.......

His love with his things ...A transistor ..which he used to hear news and songs every morning ....Nokia mobile ....which he used take care like his own child....his Files..his diaries ... .....all the letters and important items are still kept properly ...his poems ....his albums ...cassettes ....we can feel him in everything ..but he is not around...

I want to hear ..Gunjan!!!! ( he used to call me with this name...) .....But I know it would never happen .......

Dear Daddy .....You would always be there in my thoughts ....in our memories....I know your blessings and tons of love are always with us ....luv you Daddy ....very much!!!!! wanted to say this ,,but somehow not able to express this in front of you .......now I will not able to tell how much I luv you Dad!!!!
Your 4 year old grandson/daughter krsna & Aditi are asking lots of question to us, but we don't have answer... Shagun and sansu are quite .....perhaps ..they understood ...there is nothing to ask ........all of them are saying ....you become a Star in the sky Dad ....is this true Dad !!!! pls reply !!!!!

9 comments:

kunal jaipuriar said...

I came to tears by reading this...mummy had always told about mama...we will miss him always...and he will always be proud that you are his son...

Nikki said...

When i saw today's morng in internet that our 'sir ji' s no more. Am start crying & my heart dont want 2 accept. Everythng, every memories, his smile start flashing in front of my eyes. How he taught us. By what name he was calling us. Evrythng i start remembering as a clear view. Its really diffcult 4 me 2 accept. I wish that ek last baar main unse mil pati.....

PANKAJ PRASOON said...

Gunjan Bhiaya.When i saw this ...it was really Heart touching moment.Life have different colours but some colours are really dark.I remembered when he asked me "Putin" or "Lepcha".we always went to Picnic on january every year.we all really miss him........

Praggya Verma said...

It is so heart touching that even a heartless would have tears in eyes after reading this.You won't believe,i paused several times while going through your blog.But can say surely,that this is the felling of a real daughter for a real father.accepting this bitter truth that he is no more is really really difficult.Last but not least,we pray to god to give peace to his soul,and pray that he only becomes your father in every birth.

Ashu said...

I still remember our last conversation about uncle. still I am speechless and dont have a single word to console you.

I wanted to meet with him once again at banglore but now................

Take courage to handle all family n now you are head of family even aunt is there but still again you have to play a great role. Your new journey begins now. My pray to god is always with you

Mukesh said...

What can i say about this :( .... i still remember that day ...when first time i went to Sir ji's place at the age of 6... I can't be able to express my feeling about him... he was one of the base pillar of my life... i still can't imagine my life without him..He use to call me Khargos (Rabbit) sometime and just to hear that word from him ... i never bunk my tuition class... how can i forget his efforts which he had done for one of the most naughtiest guy... who at least know now that how to proceed with life ...n thats me... i never going to believe that he is no more .. he is here always ... always in our heart... Luv u sir ji ....

Unknown said...

My heartfelt condolence. i was his student in the year 1976-1981in PCS kiriburu. He used to coach us in hockey. May his soul rest in peace in heavens.
Ratanjit Himachal

Unknown said...

My heartfelt condolence. i was his student in the year 1976-1981in PCS kiriburu. He used to coach us in hockey. May his soul rest in peace in heavens.
Ratanjit Himachal

Unknown said...

One of the gratest and lovable teacher.
The most disciplined person i have ever seen during my school days.
The tution class , chitragupta pooja celebration, school events all were very much possible beacuse of him. Love you sir....
Prashant (Chandan)